my long hiatus..

yes, yes. haven’t been blogging for a LONG time. blame it on exams, writing too many essays and just PURE LAZINESS =)

anyways, exams are finally OVER! wee! also (sadly) means i have finished 2nd yr of uni. means i’m 2/3 done with my degree. scary thought. maybe i should have done like medicine. i get 3 more years!

ya, so my life has basically been study study study eat eat eat and study study study some more. i have no idea why i am repeating everything three times (times times – mr liew’s style)

hmm. yups, today as first day of my “proclaimed” freedom and instead of sleeping in as i wanted to. i WOKE UP AT SEVEN. YES. SEVEN AM. I AM SO MAD AT MYSELF I WANT TO CRY. madness i tell you.

if you haven’t already notices, this is super disjointed. i hope my essays in exam had more flow than this (i’m also hoping that my examiners will be drunk while marking my papers, so one can dream, no?)

ah yes, new news? nadal lost french open. so SAD i tell you. really. devastated. ok, now i just sound sarcastic. but no. seriously. i couldn’t concentrate after i found out.. (so blame nadal if i fail my finance paper)

more news. oh ya. i turned 21 (amazing!) and had an exam on that day itself! awesome! and most ppl still had exams so i really expected to spend my birthday in my room (moping) and mugging. but, you know its times like these when your friends pick you over their exams (like seriously that’s a super big deal in cambridge! everyone is like super muggers!), you see who your true friends are. was really touched that my ultimate BESTIES/BFFs (omg, why the hell am i speaking like such a bimbo) surprised me. with cake and a balloon-filled room (the balloons are still there and full of jing ting’s air btw – i need to burst them soon) so had a really good 21st. and i got cards! which i LOVE.

other than that, my social life has been NIL. NADA. ZILCH. ZERO.

going bck really soon too! while a part of my really can’t wait to be home, there’s this little part that’s going to miss my life here in cambridge and all the ppl in it. however big (or small) an impact one has made in my life =)

i hate it when i get all ‘think-ey’ and start thinking about things.

on turning insomniac

sigh. i’ve turned insomniac. can’t sleep. need sleep. boo.

slept at 5am yesterday thanks to the half cup of old town coffee i decided to drink, which normally does NOTHING for me. played wedding dash on my phone until i reached the highest level and then read half of twilight. and still couldn’t sleep..

today.. i’ve got too much liquid in me to sleep. and i don’t feel sleepy at all. but i should sleep. i need to study tmr. and be like productive. today completely gone thanks to the lethargy i felt of sleeping at 5am.

oh. and i’m very sad. someone stole my raw WHOLE chicken. yes. the whole damn chicken.

tell me,la seriously. WHO ON EARTH STEALS A WHOLE RAW CHICKEN.

seriously, what is wrong with the world…

oh, news flash!

i’ve decided to stay away from alcohol for a bit. not that i drink a lot, but alcohol makes me sad. and emo. and easily irritated, instead of the high bubbly feeling normal people get. screwed up.

makes me think..

…about life

…and serious stuff

… like..

who are we, really?

its crazy how one person can affect another so much.

confucious says, you con-fused?

“the law is confused”

to which i reply to dear mr hedley, author of a tort text book, that makes two of us. I AM BLOODY CONFUSED.

ok, maybe not bloody confused. but some what so. after reading and reading i only have some what of a picture of what the duty of care is abt. how the HELL am i going to sit for exams in 2 months i have no idea. and this is like one topic of half a paper, of which i have 5.

*sad, pitiful face*

anyywayyys, you knew i was going to whine and blog abt how sad my life is so here goes =)

exams are coming. again.

everytime i think abt tripos all the rainbows in my head disappear and are replaced with scary dark clouds. and lightning.

it HONESTLY really feels like just not long ago i was sitting for my 1st yr papers. and now, here i am, nearly at the end of 2nd year. so jiwangifying. makes me think about what i have accomplished thorughout the year, how i’ve grown/changed, how i’ve gotten to know people better, how the things happen for a reason, what i’ve learnt – about life, about people, about myself.

it is 2009. i’ll be graduating in a yr or so.

that is just so scary, not knowing what will happen to me after.

oh, oh, OH. today i went to the LIBRARY. yay me! i think libraries are good for me. for one, i actually work, evn if i still have an attention span of a goldfish, i get somethings done. ALSO, since there is nth to eat and i have no coins/too lazy to walk to the vending machine, i don’t eat random rubbish the whole day! as is the case when i stay in my room to work. its scary how you just keep eating to procrastinate. really.

so tmr, its back to the library agn.. more work done hopefully. its been 2 wks of hols already. omg. that is scary. can’t recall how i spent my days, except the first 4 days that was spent in italy travelling with my cell members. italy was awesomee. the sun, the gelato and the random posing. although i don’t think i could look at gelato and pasta for sometime to come..

here are some pics!

a group pic of all that went on top the 97.2 m tower that we CLIMBED.

meisheng, wanlin and i at the posh restaurant diane where we had our one’fine-dining’ dinner!

and here, the millionth time we were eating gelato..

and here with all our random drinks at the jazz bar we went to. <3 vodka + oj =)

trip was really fun. good times, getting to everyone better. also, i have decided to be more intellectual from hence forth. everyone says i’m a bimbo. which is kinda depressing if you ask me.  like totally! ok, i’m kidding. i don’t speak like that in real life. i will now only speak of things that matter, like poverty, the credit crunch and WORLD PEACE! haha.

i just realised how i didn’t blog abt anything i did throughout lent. except steal jing’s blog post. hee. will sometime soon post up loads of pics to attempt to potray how lent has been for me. was a trying term, let’s just put it that way. insane amt of sup work for us poor land economist (mad 6 sups a weeks = 6 essays. can’t believe i actually pulled that off), THAT paper 6 project, snow snow snow, snow fights in between lectures, snow fights in the middle of the night, meeting mahathir, co-producing our AWESOME m’night (which i kinda miss now. no more bugging kenrick and watching random practices..), halfway hall (emos), cny ball (still can’t believe i lost chinese chess to a less-than-sober person!), cumsa ball, relinquishing our cumas’s posts, random cookouts in my room, random shopping trips, humbling experience of internship hunting, being an emotional wreck and yet pretending everything’s okay, growing closer to some and then watch some drift away.

8 weeks. rollercoster indeed.

and i remain confused.

oh do you realise how katy perry’s ‘hot and cold’ song is perfect for the weather these days?

“you’re hot and you’re cold, you’re yes (rain) and you’re no”

oh yes, you change your mind like a girl changes clothes alright.

ciplakted. oh yes, piracy

want to know what i’ve been up to as of late?

GO HERE

and HERE

thank youu wanton (jingy!)  i copy =)

i know i’m lazy.

END OF TERM IS NIGH!

(but that means easter hols, and studying. boo)

8 more sups to go till i’m home free.

how doth leadeth to procratinationeth.

how grammatically awesome be my title? =)

anyways, loads to do so i shall keep this simple and sweet.

m’night is coming. really excited.can’t wait! should be good,lah. since its lala wong and his blood,sweat and tears.

i can’t speak properly today.

so tired.

slleeeeppp.

idiots who wake me up before 9am should be shot.

oh, did i mention i have 6 supervisions next week? someone kill me already…

oh,oh. and halfway hall this friday. yay. i need to find my battery charger,lah. very sad to be camera-less =(

sony camera charger anyone?

work? word.

cny is coming! and oh the skies and grey.

what extreme juxtapositions.

feeling particularly emofied today. i think its the weather *glares at grey clouds and rain* and also the fact that i need, need, need to start writing essays today. and also the fact that i’m worried abt vac schemes. sigh. so lame.

but aniwaehs! i shall plunge head first into my pile of work with a smile on my face *plasters forced fake smile* just beacuse. a happy worker is a good worker! (ok, i made that up, but it sounded cool right?)

actually i think i’m just rambling abt nonsense right now and should stop, but i can’t! I JUST CAN’T..

so, its 8.07 am on a friday which i don’t have lectures to attend. tell me again why i’m awake when i could be curled up under my duvet asleep? boo =(

so, lets evaluate my week. sunday was mad day, involving much bitchiness, hate and pain. yes, last day to finish my p6 project and last last minute when i thought i was all done, i spotted a mistake. a fundamental, core part of the project so had to change almost everything. nearly died. and felt like tossing my mac out the window cos it was being bitchy with me. hmph.

that was sunday, barely slept and somehow had the energy to roll out of bed for my 10 am lecture. and to hand in (finally!) my project. then after lectures was shopping! got this lovely jacket tht was cheap too! made me very happyyyy.

tuesday, was watching frost/nixon with jings, nicks and harold since jings was very ‘resourceful’ (to quote many) and gt us free tickets! i love free things! =) so even though i had no idea what the movie was about, neither was it one of my must-watch-shows (SHOPAHOLIC!! HAVE. TO. WATCH.) i happily trooped down to grafton in the cold to catch the free movie. and at the end of it, i still didn’t know what the watergate scandal was -_- but now i do! thanks to go old wiki!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Watergate_scandal

other than that, my days have involved much staring into space wondering what i should do with my life and attempting to do some reading. and i will get a decent amount of work done today. no being stupid and wasting time. study study study. supervisions, here i come prepared!

yes, at least i have smth (s) to look forward to – cumas cny dinner, cny eve cookout, cny ball. oooh so happening huh? =)

grey clouds

i need to sort my life out. pronto.

term has barely started and i’m already in the “idon’tcareaboutsupervisionsandidon’twanttodowork” stage.

this is bad.

feeling a bit messed up. but no fear. after i’m done with my project.. i shall embark on this awesfully awesome soul searching journey, hopefully including me finding my inner nerd.

yes.

*to inner nerd* come out, come out wherever to you are!

21 things i learnt today.

1. eating two pieces of fried cempedak is well worth the 30 minutes on the treadmill.

2. in fact, i’d eat four and run for an hr!

3. okay, maybe not.

4. the battle between the tv and calculating my portfolio’s risk is an easy one. the tv always wins. hands down.

5. doing wrk/being assigned wrk during the holidays should be against ones human rights. hmph.

6. besides, there’s no quality in holiday work! hello..profesor di cambridge yang bijaksana ini patut tahu perkara yang basic macam ini,lah.

7. i rather read pages and pages of contract law rather than do my finance project which is far more urgent.

8. i think i may be a masochist. torturing myself by leaving my project super last minute and then i panick and hyperventilate and need to go to jingy for counselling.

9. i have an obsession with bags. i think, no more.

10. massages aren’t fun if the masseuse starts slapping you. like literally.

11. i have too many things to do and not enough time. help.

12. ppl in kuching are mng crazed. buy until there’s nothing left on the table shelf thingy. madness.

13. i can actually shop in kuching. love love love my buys!

14. i get very annoyed when ppl don’t answer my calls. or reply my txts. but more so to calls. although i am constantly doing it to other ppl. i’m sorry. i shall keep my phone with me at all times from now on and always answer all calls/reply all txts unless of course i’m stuck in this ‘oh-so-awesome-and-scintilating’ lecture (nt likely to happen anytime soon)

15.  boys are vainer than girls. or at least more health concious. count of guys in swak club gym this afternoon – 7. count of girls – 1, me.

16. i can’t decide if i can’t wait to go back to cambridge or don’t want to leave home.

17. i love sunday market! all the random food that you get there. i want to eat gigantic blue prawns! yes they do exist.

18. i’m really, deep down inside an antisocial being. oh no. what has cambridge done to me. and all of its other inhabitants for that matter. (does antisocialness ring a bell jing? XD)

19.speaking of which, oh, i love jing and nicks! honestly! they rock my socks! (if i were wearing any that is. its too hot to cover my feet up!)  from helping me drag my bag down to getting me one to taking care of my duvet =)

20. eileen loves me. are you happy now miss lau i don’t crave kfc no more (and i’ve updated my blog with utter nonsense?)

21. christmas leftovers are no fun the 5th time round.

best, better, bestest?

i have a craving for kfc.

and its 1.07

in the morning.

=(

on the upside, i’m feeling a lot less ‘angry’ and annoyed at stuff in general after sharing in cg =)

i guess i just need to find my place in life, and what God wants me to do.

anyways, GRACE IS GOING TO BE SUPER KUAI TMR AND ACTUALLY STUDY.

instead of doing random nonsense like what her saturdays have always been made up of.

life. death. love. hate.

oh, the extremities.

how odd it is to be so happy at one moment, and then an hour later, you feel like strangling everything in sight.

i think i *MIGHT* have anger management issues.

either that or i’m just one hormonal being.

although, *quote eileen*, being 20, our hormones are supposed to be stable.

but there must be something wrong with you when you don’t feel like seeing anybody at all, and the thought of talking to people makes you so sick.

and you even contemplate going for the early, early church service so you won’t see anyone.

this is so not me.

the stress of supervisions and internship apps are just starting to take its toll on me.

so, maybe i should have listen to ji’s advice and did my research and application crap over summer instead of lazing around and watching stupid shows on hbo everyday.

thus, due to the events (or lack thereof) of the past few days, i have decided to go back over winter.

i think if i stay in cambridge for the 5 weeks break, i will be like a candle with no wax left.

READ : BURNT OUT.

now, i just have to get my ticket.

and i can’t decide to go for mas or emirates.

i hate transits, but i get to save 200 pounds (whichmeans200poundsmoreformetospendonnonsense)

so. CBA perhaps?

…

…

…

is it too much for me to just be HAPPY?

i don’t get it.